"Are you parked over here?" she asked hurriedly.
Sod off, vulture.
"Yeah, somewhere," I ventured with a shrug.
If you follow me I'll attack your car with my metal ruler.
"Excellent! Could I follow you and take your spot?"
The fact that you're even asking me this is despicable. Go fight for it like all those other blockheads speeding around. The last time someone followed me I hit their car with mine. Is that what you want?
"Yeah. It might take me a second to find, though," I said with a small smile. "It's a white prizm, and I'm afraid I forgot to check it's location when I parked it."
"Oh that's fine," she smiled sweetly back.
"It'll just be a second." I turned away and started stalking through the rows, still trying to hurry, and vividly aware that the whole time she is following me in her car. After a minute of fruitless searching in the first two rows, I'm feeling a bid red and all to aware that - not only is she following me, there is a young man behind her.
After another minute I turn helplessly to her.
"I have no idea where it is-"
Maybe if I didn't have you leeching along behind me I could concentrate long enough to remember where I parked. As it is, I feel like a total moron and my panic is only serving to throw me off.
"Oh that's fine, get in, we'll drive around and look faster."
Why didn't you offer before...?
I climb in and we drive down two more rows before I remember that I'm parked around the corner near the soccer fields.
"Sorry! I'm so retarded-" I laugh.
Naturally, I can only imagine that I wouldn't have been so absent-minded if you hadn't irritated me so much-
"No problem. I'll cya around!" she said with a shrug. Not looking so pleasant as before.
Pfff. I climb out of the car, dropping an assortment of the things I was carrying. Two cars are waiting behind hers. I run over to my car, fruitlessly search my backpack for my keys. It'll be another three minutes before I'm able to get loaded up and pull out.
I don't hit her car. Luckily. I know better now when I'm pulling out that people like to wait two feet or so from your car so no one will sweep in last second.
I also lost one of my shoes. Possibly when I climbed out of her car or at some other point. I didn't notice.
And, yes, at the temple I feel fully and completely terrible for the whole experience.
Why can't I be positive and charitable? ;)