Sunday, January 26

Bus Thoughts versus Real Thoughts

I am riding the bus again.  I've begun to recognize that I think differently on buses than I do in real life.  Perhaps this says something about bus people.

REAL LIFE:
Oh look, a barf bag.  I would hate to have a reason to use that.

BUS LIFE:
Oh look, a barf bag.  It says "sick saver" on it.  Why would someone want to save their sick?  But then, I hear people are saving their placentas now in case they need cells.  Maybe you can save sick and use it in a stomach acid donation crisis.

What?

Or this:
REAL LIFE: 
That guy just looked at me.  Kinda creepy.

BUS LIFE: 
That guy just looked at me.  He wants to kill me.  I better get off my stop a few blocks early and take a weird way home so he doesn't know where I live.

Or maybe:

REAL LIFE: 
I am hungry.

BUS LIFE:
I am hungry.  Maybe if we are trapped in here we will have to eat each other.  I have a granola bar in my bag, but how long can it last?  I wish there were fewer people on this bus.  I wonder what would happen if an airplane crashed into this bus like it did in my first-responder disaster final exam.  Would I still find a girl who had lost her arm?  Would I still let her go into shock?  Why is that woman looking at me funny?

Not sure if this is significant.  But I needed to record it for posterity.

Saturday, January 11

New Winter Semester

Yep.  It's crazy, but it's time for me to do a class rundown again.  This week has been an epic battle to get into classes I THOUGHT I was taking but wasn't actually in.  But all is well and finalized, so here you go:

Urban Soil and Water
Exactly what you think.  But with more chem and physics.
(Bonus: There is none.)

Plant Pest Management
Hide yo kids.  I will be a certified pesticide applicator by next Saturday.
(Bonus: I will know how to save trees from stupid bugs.  Like my lovely Ash Tree.)

Arboriculture
I am excited for this one.  I am going to learn to prune trees/shrubs/etc professionally, and I am purchasing my own tools, so I will be available to do some pruning come Spring for all ya'all.  I also get to keep a "tree journal" in which I write and sketch poetically/analytically about 6 different woody plants that I want to gain a stronger connection to.  It is as tree-hugger as it sounds.
(Bonus: Only legitimate excuse to climb trees on campus.)

Microbiology
This is so I can understand microorganisms and be a better plant doctor... but a good majority of the class focuses on human disease.  Did you know your toilet can spray bacteria six feet in all directions?
(Bonus: I am on the path to germophobism.)

Career Days
I am competing in March at Colorado State in plant health diagnostics.  This is a "prep class" for it.
(Bonus: A week off campus and living the good hotel life.)

I am not feeling very long winded today...