Monday, July 28

Repentance and Mission Planners

Last week I bought a new RM planner.

For those of you who haven't seen them, they are available in the BYU bookstore for all those sad lonely returned missionaries (like, I admit, I often still am.)

Feeling particularly crummy, I made a decision that I needed to set some goals and return a bit to the "missionary lifestyle", not just in the degree of gospel-sharing and charitable-ness, but in the routine and what I used to call the "care and keeping of disciples" type of stuff.

So I got a planner.

Somehow, having a planner makes you feel like you matter again. Like your choices aren't just yours. Like you have the capacity to waste valuable time and you shouldn't. Isn' that strange? That might just be how I am, I haven't asked other missionaries. So I started filling it out and putting down goals. Some for exercise, some for eating and budgeting, some for temple attendance, and some for scripture study.

I already felt way better, haha.

This morning I woke up and felt like I'd rather die than go for a jog.

But I remembered that I had written it in my planner and I needed to trust my yesterday-self. So I got up and went jogging-something I haven't found the desire or time to do since April. :)

Now I have sat down to begin studying the scriptures for a bit-like REALLY study them. Write down my thoughts. Focus on a topic. I haven't done this since probably April either... at least not regularly. And man did it feel good. :) The topic I had written in my planner (yes, there is a space for study topics) was "repentance".

As I opened my study notebook and glanced at my last entry (June 1st) I realized that I was repenting. Heck, in a way, by beginning to exercise again I was repenting as well haha. Too often we view repentance as something difficult and reserved for others. We might not feel like we deserve to. But as you return to an active lifestyle (spiritual or otherwise) the Lord is with you. He wants to help because he knows that you've been a little lazy and it's hard to get started again and to keep it up. You'll get discouraged. You'll have to overcome some obstacles you've gained since you stopped. But it's always doable. You just have to be consistent and rely on those around you. :)

Yeah, it's been a while. But it doesn't matter. Because you're trying again. And that shows your faith. And He will meet you at whatever point you can make it to. :)

Saturday, July 12

Betty Ford Alpine Gardens

Colorado was beautiful. Seriously. I fell in love with the rocky forested wilderness that we drove through each day. :) Our last night (and sabbath) we spent in Vail, CO. Vail is sort of a "Park City" of Colorado... sort of a ski resort. Ian's family has a timeshare in a condo, so we got to spend a day with them.

Sunday I had some time to myself, and I took the opportunity to go discover the Betty Ford Alpine Gardens, which I had heard about and never seen.

It was lovely. Just thought I'd share some of my favorites!

Friday, July 11

All Lies...

Haha, once again, I've been traveling. So much for goal setting and the like.

I just want to take a second and mention how happy I am. With Ian. :)

(NOTE: Sorry if you find this mawkish. Mawkish is a GRE word. I am trying to use my vocabulary and this is one of those sorry attempts.)

When all is said and done, I feel really peaceful about him. Things keep trying to get messy and complicated, but every time I get all tied up I go to him and we are able to fix things and re-set.

He is helping me to learn how to do the one thing I fear most-to ask for help. To ask to have my needs fulfilled and made a priority. How is he doing this when no one else can?

He is patient. He is encouraging and persistent. He asks me to speak my mind and gives me opportunities to do so. And when I do, he responds by validating me and my worry or frustration. I feel like the one great difficulty I could ever have in a marriage would be the way I harbor anger and frustration as I have always tended to do to those with whom I associate. But somehow Ian keeps that door open and helps me to filter it out where it can do little harm.

I feel as though a part of me is healing...

Tuesday, July 1

Epic Fail with Purpose

Sorry, my desire to blog has been hampered by my camping experiences lately. :) Last week I got to camp in the La Sal Mountains with my dad's side of the family for a reuinion. Lovely time!! Sorry, most of the pics are of my nieces. I'm a little obsessed... Anyways. And this week I'm heading down south to Mesa Verde with Ian and two of his brothers. :) We will loop down through there and then up to Black Canyon, Hanging Lake, and Vail for a relaxing stay at his family's time-share condo. Here's hoping I can take the 20 hours of driving!

Teagan and her daddy.

Such a beautiful area! This is right by our campsite at Warner campgrounds.

Hiking trail. :)

Teag after she "fell" into the lake. (Pretty sure she jumped in, but we will pretend.)

My uncle Jim and his wife Jalaine with Kim and Kenny.

Gracie in her element.

Teag being a smurf. She just kept coming back to our fire pit with more and more blue. Her poor mum. 

Google made this for me haha. Gracie eating grapes. :)