Monday, March 30

Thoughts, Rings, and Goats

     On Friday (as some of you know), Ian and I took a trip to Ephraim to attend the Utah Academy of Arts and Sciences conference so we could present some of the stuff we've been working on. But more importantly, we drove a bit further south to have dinner with my dad so we could spend some time with him, and also... so Ian could ask him for permission to marry me. 0.o

     When we got there, my dad needed to go feed a friend's goats, so I went with him and his wife Kathleen and her daughter Hunter. It's baby goat season crazy - there were 4 that had been born within the last two hours when we got there! There are always firsts. First time seeing a newborn goat, first time carrying a newborn goat by it's legs to a pen, and first time seeing a goat eat its own placenta.

     I guess that's what they do. Cool.

     On the way back, I mentioned to him that Ian was hoping to ask (mostly because I wasn't sure how we'd bring it up anyways). He thought about it for a moment, and then asked me what he should say. He wanted to know "Why do you like him?" My response was quick - I mean, considering the decision to marry him myself, I've given that a lot of thought.

     "I like who I am around him. I like who he helps me to be. I am more comfortable around him than anyone else. I trust him."

     My dad nodded and said that was a good response. He decided to say yes.

     "But," he said giving me a significant look, "I'm going to point outside to Daisy" (his cow) "and say: 'Ian, what do you think I'd do to someone who was messin with my cow?' and Ian will say: 'you'd hurt him?' and I'll say 'yes. And I love my Beth infinitely more than that cow.'"

     We all laughed at that... but I could tell he was serious. Luckily, he didn't end up sharing that warning with Ian. Perhaps he trusts him more than I thought.

     As the evening drew to a close, and we needed to get going, my dad brought it up and Ian officially "asked" him if we could get married. He gave his consent. Ian asked him if he had any advice for him. They talked for a bit.

     It was sweet. :)

     Later we drove through the windy dark highways of southern Utah, trying not to think about deer jumping out in front of our car. We were listening to The Smiths, complaining occasionally about people who wouldn't turn off their brights.

     "So... are we engaged?" I asked thoughtfully. After a moment, Ian smiled and said "yes."

And that's that. :)

     No, we're not going to get an engagement ring.
     No, I'm not expecting him to put something together to propose to me.
   
     Yes, we'll have a luncheon after we get sealed.  
     Yes, we'll go to Cuba for a month and have a wonderful time.
     Yes, when we get back we'll have a reception.

     Is it wrong for us to put a few things aside?

     The ring is the hard thing. When I tell people I'm engaged, they ask to see it or to hear how he proposed and, though they are genuinely excited for me to be engaged, I can see their excitement deflate a little when I explain that we aren't doing a ring or that he didn't actually propose to me...

     Rest assured, I feel perfectly happy with things how they are. I don't feel like he's under-valuing me. I love that he trusts me enough to discuss things with me and that we can - together - decide to forgo the ring.

     I just want everyone to know that he loves me - and I guess it's hard to show that to others when I don't have hard proof. . . I never realized how difficult that would be, or how much society relies on a ring or an elaborate proposal story to determine something like that.

     But please believe me! He does. :)

I'm engaged!!

4 comments:

Leslie Kunz said...

Congratulations, Beth. I am so happy that you are so happy!

Tairsa said...

My already very high respect for you has grown even more after reading this. I'm so excited for you two incredible people. You've really got it right. Best wishes!

Beth said...

Thank you both. :)

Jessica Grosland said...

*dramatic sigh*